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Our dominant Ego identification

by Peter M von Maltitz

I noticed that the first 17 periods of the periodic table of elements can also be experienced as how we experience our activity of “I”.


1. I want to feel myself.

2. I want to hear myself

3. I want security.

4. I want everything.

5. I expect everything should flow.

6. I overwhelm.

7. I do.

8. I am vulnerable.

9. I want a guide.

10. It is my way.

11. I seek to trust.

12. I believe hearsay.

13. I let danger distract me.  ----------------------------

                        underworld:

14. I suffer.

15. I seek freedom of accusations.

16. I seek sweetness.

17. I seek abdication.

              -----------------------------------------------------

                             step out of embodyment

                              into upper world

       18. I have abdicated

       19. I meet

       20. I am lost

       21. I am annihilated.


            The virtues              The issues                World

1. Equality                   Confronting outside. Physical

 2. Unknown                              

3. Variety

4. Decision                  Blame / shame         Plant

5. Co-ordinate                          

6. Greeting

7. Channel                  Greed / Need          Animal

8. Endurance

9. Wisdom

10. Patience                Boredom /focus / Entertainment

11. Embrace projects

12. Live from the heart

13. Must finish tasks   Change -------------------------

14. Sorry                    Consequence  Remorse

15. Forgive                 Blame             

16. Love                     Reconsile         Listen

17. Thank you            Gift, not for me.

           --------------------------------------------------------

                                    upper world

          Virtue              Aether.   Guardian       Experience

18. I maintain balance. Earth.     Sorrow          Freedom

 19. We meet.              Water.    Significance   Conected

20. We Join.                Light.     Empty            Space     

21. We arise.              Warmth. Pretense         Welcome



1. I want to feel myself.

Immersed in all feeling I feel lost so I disconnect from others so I can just feel myself.  That leads to to the feeling of being isolated. To feel good we fall for the lie that we are special and will be liberated.  To feel special we look down on others. That attracts the beings that eat our disgust and tempt us with the promise of being our saviour.  Their presence pushes down on our shoulders and we feel depressed.  

We can be set free of that temptation by becoming the observer of our self and how we observe us looking at our senses.  As an observer we are equal to other created beings.

 2. I want to hear myself

If I cannot hear myself, I ignore the outside world. Loud noise traumatises me. When I have withdrawn I can observe the logic of my thinking and identify with it. The attention is completely withdrawn from outside.  ADD. It is difficult to do anything in the world be cause we cannot see it. We only see our thought world.  We have a great fear of not succeeding to work in the world. We would rather just stay at home where everything is familiar. We go deaf and have chronic ear problems, even needing grommets to keep the ears open.

We need to experience friendship and emotional relating to go beyond logic and understanding.

 3. I want security.

If I do not belong to the right winning group I will be in danger.  I need to find the right group with authority. I need to conform to belong to them. This leads to a great fear of authority. Travelling helps us discover the great variation and multiplicity in the world.  In different parts of the world different behaviours are accepted as the norm. This helps us get out of thinking there is a right or wrong norm.  What works for some people do not work for others. Let each person find their own comfort as long as they do not hurt others in their own pursuits.

 4. I want everything.

I do not want to choose because that reduces my options. If I make the wrong choice I may be locked into a limiting outcome. I can be blamed for my decision.  This makes me very hesitant. I can make a decision but I have no idea as to how it can be carried out so I feel trapped by a decision.

Making a decision is very important because if I notice that I did it, I will also realise that everything that I decide becomes what happens to me. So my whole life was created by me. It is all my own fault.

 5. I expect everything should flow.

I expect other people to know what to do to help me because they should know what I am trying to do. I am not able to explain what I am trying to do.  In the end it is not so much of what I want but what I like. That changes to what we like. That can only happen if we discuss possible futures. Now we can move into co-operation.

 6. I overwhelm.

If I hide till the right moment to surprise others then I can overwhelm them and control them. Then I feel like I am in charge.  Unfortunately that shocks other beings and they no longer want to cooperate.   

To let everyone feel safe I must always reveal myself by greeting everyone and trying to make them feel safe too.

 7. I do.

If I am constantly busy then I am in control.   I believe that I am doing it.

That is like being constantly in the battle and fray of it and can never evaluate what I am doing. I also do not see what others are doing. There are no goals and not being aware of achieving them.  

If we feel that we are doing something then we identify with that doing. This prevents others from helping because we think they are taking over.  We have to realise that we are only a channel of manifestation and we are not the manifestation.  We cannot stand in our power. Power can flow through us but be cannot own it. If we try to own t we block it.

 8. I am vulnerable.

Whatever I do will expose me to being tracked and attacked. So I am wide eyed and seeing danger around every corner. This causes thousands of nerves developing in the skin. Typical paranoia and multiple sclerosis.

It requires extremely slow movement so I can feel the movement of my feeling rather than feeling my movement. Banging the painful limb does not bring back feeling. Expecting to feel yourself rather than feeling what you bump into brings back your sensitivity.

9. I want a guide.

If I get guidance I cannot be making a mistake.   I seek knowledge and seek the guidance to tell me what to do. But being a medium for information does not make it possible for us to know how to get the timing right.  It is only from trying to do something that one realises how long it takes to do it and that practise improves the ability and dexterity to do it faster and at the right moment.

Getting the timing right is the wisdom that we actually have to develop. Guidance can’t do it.

 10. It is my way.

I am capable and have no time to suffer fools.  I am impatient.

Without patience we cannot teach. If we want to truly help others we have to be enablers and teach and have the patience to watch and see what they miss and thereby not succeed. That know how is what has to be enabled.   We need to focus on why we are capable. It is to be able to help others.

11. I seek to trust.

I feel out of control of my situation and don’t trust my self any more. I don’t trust the leader either. By protecting others from the boss I think I will will be protected from his whims.  

We do not have to own the project. We work with others to achieve the goals of the project.  Even if we did not create the project it does not mean we cannot embrace a worthwhile project and make the best of it.

 12. I believe hearsay.

I don’t believe people will state their opinion honestly to me about myself. I ask people to tell me what other people say about me behind my back.  We do not need the opinion of others to do anything. What others think of us is none of our business.

What matters is what we do. We will have to live with ourself after it is over. Can you live with yourself after falsely accusing others of your own faults.  It does not matter where you go, you can never get away from yourself. So the best thing is to get into your heart and live from your heart.


 13. I let danger distract me.

I don’t trust change. I don’t feel equipped to finish a job. I stop half way to see what reactions are going on around me.


14. I suffer.

Every one seems to make my life difficult and painful.


 15. I seek freedom of accusations.

I am not doing anything wrong. It is not my fault. How dare you blame me. So what are you going to do about rescuing me. I am forgetful. I know I am going to forget in my next life.


16. I seek sweetness.

Life should be easy. Why are people not nice and sweet to me. Why should I not get a prize.


 17. I seek abdication.

I cannot take on responsibility. Not for anyone or anything. I would rather die than be forced to do the will of someone else.


       18. I have abdicated.


Ego needs