Zanemvula Traditional Healing 
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The whole gradual development of all 17 virtues that overcome the limiting delusions that cause disease.

The virtues also lead to graceful enlightenment.

These virtues were considered to prepare the soul of man so that it could receive the blessings of spirit, like a chalice.


I believe the concept was first developed in the 9th century (as described by Dr Rudolf Steiner in his lectures on reincarnation and karma about the story of Parcival) but I have only recently found the component parts in the periodic table of elements as described by Dr Jan Scholten and in the work that I have done with contracts that drive parts of our soul out as discussed with participants in the healer courses.


Most important to develop in sequence are the virtues of :
 1) Humility  = being equal.
 2) Knowing how little we know.
 3) Being aware of multiplicity (no judgement).
 4) Observing our decisions.
 5) Learning to coordinate our efforts with others.
 6) Greet all beings and make them feel safe.
 7) Become a channel of manifestation.
 8) Develop endurance.
 9) Practice wisdom.
10) Hold to hope in adversity.
11) Embrace projects.
12) Accept self as is.
13) Complete all work that one started.
14) Honour self as causal agent of suffering.    
15) Gratitude that we can experience our intents.

16) Reconcile yourself with your lot.
17) Let go the idea of ownership of achievement.

The last four are also equivalent to the Ho'o pono pono statements as Hawaiian process of reconciliation and forgiveness.  

   I am sorry.

   Please forgive me.

   I love you.                                                   

   I thank you.




1)  The first virtue is humility: this is a condition in which you hold yourself as equal to all other beings. Not better or worse than anyone else.  

Unless you do this, you will be in stress. You will either feel threatened or superior. Both cases lead to competition, the training ground for warfare.  You cannot talk of peace if you are at war. You cannot talk of making friends. You cannot play if you are competing. They are mutually exclusive.

One has to get off the pyramid concept.  If you don't, then one of two things happen depending on whether you feel greater or lesser than others.


If you think you are greater than others then you become arrogant. If you feel put down or criticized by anyone then your self importance is threatened and you become angry.  If you suppress the anger then you have inflammations in the body.


If you think you are lesser, then the stress of fear will get at you, and the suppression of fear will lead to the manifestation of eczema on the body.  As this progresses it moves from the fingers and toes up onto the legs and arms and then onto the trunk. Then it blocks up the nose.  If further suppressed it becomes asthma, then headache and finally coma.

2) Knowing how little we know.

This is the next virtue. The strange thing is that the more you know the more you realize the extent of the unknown. It is exponential.   

It is a dark place to be in if you are unaware of your ignorance.  This is a place where people often try to stay with what is familiar but even at home we are in the dark and anything we hear is assumed to be interference from outside. In this day and age we often find that people will not acknowledge an experience unless they can understand it.  This causes total limitation of experience into intentional ignorance. It is the modern disease of our times.

Auditory overwhelming can aggravate it and it manifests as  autism. Chronic ear ache. Chronic tonsillitis. With chronic tonsillitis comes streptococcal infection of the tonsils. This tonsillitis is a sure sign that the body is too acid. It is a sign like a red robot indicating to stop eating food like purified sugars that quickly turn to acid. Of course there are people who find red robot like signs pesky and just have them removed. That of course does not solve anything except that you can continue eating the familiar fast food that is so  familiar.  Imagine being so adventurous as to eat really fresh peas off a vine to taste a different kind of sweetness.

The streptococcal bacterial infection just spreads from the throat and grows in the bloodstream where it adheres to all kinds of tissues and starts eating them. It can eat at the tendons of the heart-valves and cause reducing blood pressure and heart murmurs. It can also attach to anything from tendons to nerve tissues causing inflammation.  




3) Being aware of multiplicity (no judgement).

When we are confused by the range of so called absolute truths being bandied around us and we are still looking for  the final external truth we do not get anywhere. We can look as much as we want but what is truth for us, eludes us. Generally people who keep on asking “so what is really going on here” are in this dilemma. Why does the right authority not sort it out?  The thing is that everything is true and good in some specific situation. But that might not be your situation at this time. In fact even political systems are valid in some situations within different parts of your life. I once asked my father “Please explain communism to me”.  He said “Well everything has its right place. Communism works at home. If I go out to work and bring home food, we all have to share it. No one in the family has a special right to the food. But it is very difficult to make that system work in the public economy.”

Travel is such a good thing because it makes you see how many systems there are and how people live with them. It is not for us to judge them. Trying to force others to follow your system is nothing other than enforced slavery. Many people think if they can force you to believe in their system then they cant be wrong. Many wrongs do not make a right.

We in the west have already been enslaved into city states for 7000 years. You can read Hartman: “The last days of ancient sunlight” to get the details.    

If there was one thing that got the Europeans out of their stuck opinions in the middle ages was the crusades. It forced them to travel and see other ways of life.



4) Observing our decisions.

If it were not for the humility of stage one we would never have become the observer. Now that we can observe, we can not only observe the outer world and recognise multiplicity, we can also observe our inner world and observe that we make decisions and that they have consequences. A choice is not a decision because you are comparing outside pressures with one another. A decision comes from inside.

“Do you want coffee or tea?”

“Well actually I am thirsty and would prefer water.”

If you do not make decisions you are not aware of yourself in action. It is easy to loose your sense of self if you do not make decisions. Just enter any place of “mad” people and you are approached by people asking you what they should do now. No wonder they have lost themselves.

If you had not overcome fear in stage one you may now fear the consequences of making a decision, or that it would be the “wrong” one and you are to blame.

It takes courage to let go everything you thought you knew and now create a new life out of your decisions. No more looking for the outside authority to hold you safe with their promises. Now it is time to find the inner strength of courage to make decisions.

So this stage is fraught with the anguish of not knowing how you are going to do what you have decided to do, but at least you are now making decisions and observing them. When you start carrying out your decisions you will gain self respect.  

The most common form of disease that manifests when we do not have the courage to make decisions and rather doubt how we are going to manage is the common cold.  The first aid remedy for that is to have a drink of courage. The direct translation of the herb known in Xhosa as umhlonyane is courage.



5) Learning to coordinate our efforts with others.

Co-ordinating with others makes the job to be done easy and attainable. If you are struggling with getting things done because you are cautious (not sure you are doing it the right way ) and stop, only to start again and think that doing it fast is going to solve it, then you are on the way to exhaustion.

The famous story of Hercules and the hydra is a great picture of this stage. Every time Hercules cut off the hydra's head, another two would grow out of the severed neck. The problem would just get bigger and bigger. The more you do the more the work becomes. Its exhausting. You can't make headway. The only way is to grow a team.

You have to ask someone to help. This may be hard for you because you cannot finish a sentence when you ask for help. Even asking is interrupted by this stage because you are not sure if you are doing it right.

 Helping you does not mean that that they have to duplicate what you are doing. It is not working anyway. The thing to do is see the bigger picture and explain what you are doing and explain to your helper or team mates what they need to do to coordinate success. They cannot see your picture. If you do not explain what you are trying to do then they do not know how to help.

Hercules solved his problem by getting his cousin to help. He asked him to hold a flaming branch ready so that when Hercules chopped off a head the cousin would cauterise the wound with the flames of the branch before it could grow new heads. He could not get the last head off so he buried it under a stone.

So if you cultivate this virtue, not only will life become much easier, you will have overcome paralysing conditions of obsessive compulsive activity.



6) Greet all beings and make them feel safe.

There are many people who feel vulnerable if they are exposed. They would rather stand back and not be noticed until they jump forward and surprise others. I once worked for a man who took delight in trying to surprise me. He used to sneak up from behind and strike down a ruler on the table next to me, where I was working, to see how high I would jump. This behaviour seems to be common in hunting and war. The moment of surprise always leaves the prey bewildered, unprepared, confused and at a disadvantage.

It is also the behaviour of someone who wants to prove to themselves that they can do something themselves. There is something of delaying tactics, such as putting things off to the last minute before doing it with a great rush.

This process leads to changes in the body as well. Their thyroids develop unnaturally and their eyes swell up so that they look like someone who wants to frighten you.

The most difficult thing for them to do is step forward when meeting someone, especially someone new, and say:

“Hello, my name is Jack Frost. You are welcome to call me Jack”

If they have the courage and someone to keep reminding them to greet people then within three months the goitre will be gone. I have seen it several times.



7) Be a channel of manifestation.

One of the great delusions that people hold about power is that they can possess it. Even in this modern time people are deluded into thinking they can stand in their power as if they can possess it.

Everyone who has had the thrill of surfing has experienced what it is like to be at the right time and place to catch a wave. And then to ride it without getting out of the position of maximum incline and losing the momentum. No surfer is deluded enough to think he is creating the wave. You have to be able to read the darkening horizon and recognise the approach of a set of waves and know what to expect. Then get into the right position and catch the right wave.

In the same way you have to read where the power comes from, that you are able to harness.  You have to know the power and how to align with it.  And when you are plugged into it and know what it is able to do and what it wants to do then at last you can ride it.

Any power feels like magic. But any force has a natural flow and direction. In the ocean you can see the path of the waves. They initially are moving in the direction of the wind that drove them, then they turn to shore and drive relentlessly towards the shallows.  You can weave across them while they move but you cannot change their direction except by changing the topography of the sea bed.

Often people only learn by losing the connection to the wave of energy.

As an athlete you can run. On your own you can only do so much.  In competition you can often do much better. In big sports events where you are in a team you can do even better.  There is a good example of an athlete who was running very well and was way ahead of the field when suddenly near the end of the race he slowed down and most athletes overtook him. Afterwards his trainer asked him what he was thinking of when he ran. He said that at first he was running for his country and felt exhilarated. Then as he approached the final stretch he thought of how he would be standing on the podium as the winner. He had moved from accessing the energy of the nation to accessing the energy of himself only.  He became unplugged from the greater energy.  This is it. He did not understand where the energy came from or how to stay plugged in. You cannot own the power, only flow with it.

Begging for your own needs is very unproductive, fund raising for a good cause can raise millions.

Always keep the greater picture in mind.

Be a channel of manifestation.

If you cannot do that then you get bogged down with having to do everything yourself and not accepting help from anyone. This puts a great strain on the heart and paralyses you. You cross your arms over your chest, and your hand is turned downwards even in greeting so as to dominate and give.  This one sided approach to relationships invariably leads to a stroke.

And when you are paralysed then at last you have no choice but to accept help.

It comes down to the basic fact that we should not help ourselves but help others and accept help from others. So there you can recognise another delusion that said: “Physician cure thyself.”  What absolute nonsense. If we could help ourselves we would have no society.

There is a story of two people who died. One went to hell and the other went to heaven. After a while it was determined that it was not yet their time and they were sent back to earth.  When they came back the people asked them how it was.  The man who went to hell said it was a terrible place. There were these long tables absolutely loaded with delicious food. They were only allowed to eat with the spoons provided but the spoon handles were so long that they could not get the food to their mouths.

The man who came from heaven said it was a wonderful pace. There were these long tables absolutely loaded with delicious food. They had these lovely long spoons so they could easily feed one another.

Whenever I meet someone who had a stroke I ask them how much they enjoyed helping others. Invariably they would agree that indeed that is what they did. Then I would ask them that if it was so good, why did they not want to allow other people to be able to enjoy helping them?


8) Develop endurance.

We are so wont to give up and want to escape of all the demands on us. Like gravity, it is always there while we are in this material body and seems to drag us down and make life feel heavy.

Or we might feel the demands of other people who want. Want what others have. Want what we have, and so we feel attacked. Being aware of the soup of demand that we live in does not mean we are attacked. Most beings are totally focussed on their own needs and it is only appears to be directed at us if we get in the way. We have to give up the idea that it was directed at us. Instead we need to accept that it is a part of our environment and that we have to develop the ability to endure it as a necessary condition of existence.

Some people even feel we attacked by the unknown.

It seems that in this state we even feel that our motives are continually questioned and challenged.

Feeling as if others are judging us seems to be unbearable. But it is just being aware of discordant thoughts.  Thoughts that feel as if they come crowding into our mind without being invited.  

These can also be thoughts coming up from our subconscious. We took them on. So how do we deal with those?

Here is an easy way I found that derives from brain gym. Start off by sitting upright on a chair.

Cross your legs over at the ankles. Try both ways. Right over left, then left over right. One is more comfortable, the other makes you feel stronger. Use the stronger. Now cross over your wrists on your lap and turn the palms of the hands towards one another and hold them together.  Once again try right wrist over left and left over right. Use the one that makes you feel stronger.

Keep your head up strait and just look down with your eyes. Now you can close he eyes but keep them directed downwards. Now you are connected to our subconscious.

Make a positive statement like:

“I am free”  or “I have the right to be here” or

“I have the right to be happy”

If you are in any way sensitive or have been practising meditation, you will immediately feel the surge of the response coming from the subconscious. Something like “only if I am friendly” or whatever. You will notice that this is “a holy cow” or condition. See where it came from: parent, teacher, friend and why on earth did you accept that. You can decide that you do not accept this and clear it out.

Now feel the relief.

Now for a Kent addendum. You can also cross over your wrists the other way and then twist up your arms in front of your chest and make your statement again. Now the response will seem to be from the family or mother.

Move your clasped hands even higher to your forehead and make your statement again. Now it will be something about religion or spirit or father.

Now see the total relaxation. Now it is easy to endure it, yes?




9) Practice wisdom.

There are people who react to any problem by running back to the books, the library, the Google find. Anything to get hold of the elusive “know how” to solve every problem. They are often called “wise guy” because they are looking for the right thing to do to make things easy. It corresponds to the stage of the story of Hercules when he was asked to clean out the big stables for the horses and cattle of Augeias. Now he could do that if he had the time, but he was told he had to clear out all the dung of ages in one day, without help. Now that was a challenge.
If we collect a lot of knowledge it is like collecting a lot of dung. All good stuff if used in reasonable quantities. In excess it just bogs one down. Now the pressure of time comes into play. That is the essence of wisdom. It is not just know-how but when to do it. That is why wisdom is born from experience and not from knowledge. That is why it takes long to get there.
The wise advisor Athena came to Hercules and suggested he divert the river through the stables and achieve the challenge in one day. It is always good to look at the bigger picture when looking for a solution. If one has not achieved some age of experience then at least listen to the stories of the experience of others, or of your own experiences from previous lives.
Time and experience brings wisdom.
Say: "I live and practise wisdom."

If you only try and use thinking and future planning you land up with headaches in the front of your your head. It is because thinking requires concentration and that leads to the compression in the front of the head. If you use concentration to think then there is the further complication of bogging up the sinuses. This forward striving is an attempt to deal with tomorrow, the future.
If you are constantly planning then eventually it also leads to the thinking going around in circles until the nerves form little knots in the head just like the sword fern forms knots in the soil with its roots. This is Altzheimers. Guess what happens when you breathe the fumes of burning sword fern leaves.

The solution is to take into consideration the past. That brings in what lies behind you, the history of us all. You can also bring in this awareness into your body immediately by walking backwards. See how the frontal headache disappears immediately. You will experience that it is not possible to walk towards a point behind you. Walking backwards makes you aware of the bigger picture. It is the influence of guidance. Then walk forward again and see the difference. Once you get this polarity then all that is needed to access the two hemispheres is to lean forward or backwards while sitting in your chair.

And then sitting up strait so as to bring the balance, so that we can find now, the present.

For it is a great present to discover the present, especially if we can work from the heart. It is now, the essence of time:
Wisdom.




10) Hold to hope in adversity.

Just because we have not yet achieved a goal there is no point in giving up. Even if you are tired or it hurts there is no excuse for letting go of the goal. The goal must be held clearly, just like a decision. In fact it is focus that helps us hold it.  This is the most capable and extrovert stage of the stages.

To worry is to give in to thinking of all the things that can go wrong in stead of keeping focus on the one goal we need to achieve. To hesitate is to loose everything. Some people call hope by the name of faith. There is the parable of the mustard seed that is so tiny and yet it holds to its goal and brings forth a great tree in time. That is equated to its faith.

Most people who have developed the ability to focus and have acquired the virtues that lead up to it like observation and decision and strength, are very capable people. In fact so capable that they think they can do everything themselves. Then in slips the self importance again and they lose focus of why they are there. Now they feel disgusted by the incapable fools who are not capable. As they say:   they find it hard to suffer fools.  

Now at this point there is this being that thinks he is the cat's whiskers. It is none other than Lucifer himself or the Impundulu as he is called in South Africa. He is a being of light, shining like a cloud, but it is a false light. It is reflected light of the sun. It is not his own light.

He comes down, like a fly, excited with all this disgust. He eats our disgust.  It is the essence of his nature. He thrives on it. As long as we create disgust for anything he is there for the meal.

That does not sound too bad, does it? After all, he is just cleaning up an energy we cannot do anything with and is just wasted.  The problem is that this cloud of a being casts a shadow like all clouds. And sitting in a shadow is very depressing.  Now you know where depression comes from. I have yet to see a depressed person who does not think that they are superior in some or other form. It starts from a young age when one of the parents say that the child is so special!  Here starts the delusions.

They are so special that they also do not even feel they need to bother with difficult relationships.  They are so special that they loose focus on society.


 11) Embrace projects.  

When we experience a situation of trying to control the activities of people who we experience as strong and boisterous we easily distance ourselves and feel aloof. We may think that while we try to guide what they do then we will also be treated fairly.  As you know prescription does not work. The more we think of how this can be guided the more we are stressed and have headaches. Mostly headaches on the sides of the head. We pull back our chin. The activity of these boisterous people make us feel lesser, overwhelmed and used.

The only way is to engage with equal vigour by embracing the project with others.  To watch them and try to moderate their activity is overtaxing.  Rather join in and be invigorated by the process.

When we try to control then we open ourselves up to the black witches that want to control everything. These black witches look like bats flying in strobe light. They stretch their arms in through the temples of our heads and their grasping hands come out of our eyes. These controlling beings make people withdraw from us.

We become what we were afraid of, creating the fear of being controlled in others.






 12) Accept self as is.

It seems that one of the most difficult things we encounter is to recognise ourselves.  Some people go as far as saying that reality is how other people perceive us. This leads us to want to hear what others think of us. Because most people are polite and would not say anything negative to our face we then try to find out second hand stories from others. This is called “hearsay” and not permissible in court and yet we gladly accept it as real evidence of other peoples badmouthing us and we feel totally hurt and betrayed.

This gets even worse. We may think of how these other people who betrayed us are actually planning our downfall and misery. Remembering our thoughts of these musings we start believing that these musings actually happened in real life. Then we start acting on these memories as if they  really happened.

The result is that we believe in our preferred version of  reality and so when someone compliments us we cannot even recognise it. We cannot hear it and we cannot accept and thank for a compliment because we believe it is not true and only lies to subdue us.

Hanging onto our thoughts of hurt and burying them in our bodies, leads to the body cramping up into cancer.  Before we die of cancer most of us see psychic crabs walking all around us. It seems we are so embarrassed by our thoughts of anger towards those that we feel have betrayed us that we hold them so close to us that they are in our organs where they wreck havoc.  If you help these people actually express themselves then we are horrified by the violence of the outbursts.  Then it is easy to see how these violent feelings can cause this disease.

Where the disease starts, is also of consequence.  If a woman is frustrated by her grown up kids who still stay at home and is a burden to her and want to be cared for then that organ of caring and nurturing goes into revolt, her breasts.  Many women also get cancer within three years of a divorce if they feel their ex husband left them disrespectfully with no resources.  

What we need to do is give up this desire for respect that we cannot even hear and work from our heart. Stand on your knees so you can feel yourself in your heart and then think about what you want to do from your heart. Live from your heart.

If someone gives you advise and you notice that you temporarily went blank then ask them to say it again twice. It is obviously meant for you and is so significant that your conscious mind filters it out.

This stage, in the first 12 virtues, represents the last of the medicine wheel of 12 directions. It also represents that hanging onto life in such a way that we actually lose it.


 

 13) Complete all work that one started.   

This is an interesting process. It is a process of getting on with what we started. Many parents complain that their teenagers do not seem to want to grow up and take responsibility. The child decides to do something and then wants others to help him do it because he feels he does not have enough expertise or energy or whatever.

They even want to get married and then move in with the parents, with children and everything else and then expect to be fed and housed etc.

This does not only stay with young people. Anyone can fall into this trap of feeling they need help.

“Why does nobody want to help me?”

“After all I started something, now everyone should just join in and help”

There is nothing like the joy of finishing something. If you want to blame someone then blame yourself for not finishing what you started.

If you finish things you also understand what is involved in the whole process.  This also puts a bit of a damper on starting without preparing properly, but at least this develops your capacity for planning and not giving up because “it did not work”.  It is not “it” that must work but it is the “me” that must commit to seeing it through. Plan and educate yourself how you can make it work by first apprenticing yourself to a job you aspire to do one day.

As we have been shown by Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers, it takes 10 000 hours of practice to become professional at anything. Patience, concentration and practice for 10 000 hours. That is why most people take seven years to develop a profession.


This stage represents the transition into the underworld. It is a stage after the end of our lives after death when we relive everything we did in life from the perspective of everyone to whom we did it.

It is the completion of he act. Both giving and receiving is the full act.



14) Honour self as causal agent of suffering.  

Or as expressed in Ho'o pono pono:  “I am sorry.”

In this first of the chambers of the underworld we see our traumas.  All the traumas that we have created for ourselves and others who we were involved with. No wonder we need to say “I am sorry”

It is difficult to accept that we are the cause of our own suffering. If we experience any suffering then it is because we created it. It is because we are looking for hurt. So we find it.  Feeling hurt is a creation of ours.

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but it is the words and accusations we hear and own that hurt us. They can only hurt when we own them. That is what is really meant with attachment.

Most of humanity subscribes to: “no pain, no gain”

That means we think that we and others have to suffer to learn anything.  We own this inclination. It is the basis of all aggression and war.  We believe it is good. Is that not that bizarre.


I have heard of a man that the United Nation uses. He really believes that whatever strife he meets must be his fault because he experiences it.  They take him from one crisis to another and he stands there and feels sorry, and everything changes.


We all need to find a way to feel with all our heart that we are sorry for what is not working in our immediate surroundings.


If we cannot feel this, then we become paralysed.  The most common disease that comes from this is weakness to the point of polio. We wish to help but the weakness overcomes us. The more we try to help the weaker we get. Why?  Because thinking of helping means we think we are separate. If you think you are separated then you feel cut off from support. You think you are helping them because it is their problem. You have to do what you can because you realize it is your problem. You have to feel sorry. You have to do it out of yourself.

I have to know that I am sorry.

Not to blame myself but to honour my SELF.

 



15) Gratitude that we can experience our intents.

In this second chamber of the underworld we can experience our contracts.  We made agreements with ourselves about how we think the world works.  They are our opinions about how things are. Sometimes they are first expressed as opinions about how other people should behave but that immediately becomes prescriptions for ourselves.

Because we created these absolutely binding agreements, they seem so obviously true to us that at first we find it difficult to realise that is an assumption we made and that it could even vaguely be the reason for our suffering.   

We feel totally trapped in our situation and want to blame everyone else for the situation. I cannot help but think of the lovely description of an “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters”  By Portia Nelson. Please read this to see how we can feel like we have fallen in to a hole and it is not our fault.  

This brings us to the common feeling or dream of people with HIV and TB. And then you get the devastation of both diseases together. If you have seen the look in the eyes of people living with HIV it is easy to see what they always seem to say as well: “So what are you going to do about it?”

They feel totally helpless to do anything about it themselves because they feel someone has done this to them and it cannot possibly be their fault. They demand unconditional love and assistance.  

The first thing we have to realize is that we have contracts and that they can be devastating. The next thing is to realise that any contract that has a not in it causes absolute inner turmoil in us because the conscious version says “not so” and the unconscious version says “ is so” because the unconscious does not hear the word “not”. In fact some sensible languages like that of the Inuit do not even contain the “not” word.

Just see what the contract “I shall not kill” did to someone from Durban:  She ran someone down with her car every month. “They just kept on jumping in front of my car. I can't understand it.” With what you now know you can understand it.  Just imagine what all these negating religious commandments have done to both Christians, Hebrews and Moslem. No wonder so many of them are in anguish.  

Our minds follow the letter of the law, not what you think of as your god intent.

So now comes the moment of recognition.

Be grateful that we get what we asked for.  If we are not grateful it just indicates that we do not realise what and how we asked for it.

So “Please forgive me” says that it is our contract causing this. The Ho'o pono pono words.

We can change our contracts and let go the ones that serve no purpose but cause harm.  Replace it with the active virtue of practising Gratitude.


16) Reconcile yourself with your lot.

Or as expressed in Ho'o pono pono:   “I love you.”

In this third chamber of the underworld is the beautiful place where we are reconciled with our previously lost parts of soul. It is one thing retrieving lost parts of the soul, but it is another thing to keep them with you. You can only stay together if you are reconciled. That means taking into account all the needs of the others and that includes recognising them, their need to express their qualities and joys and achievements.  It is because we denied them in the first place that they left.


This battle can be seen as going on continuously in every relationship.  It is the battle of trying to be seen. It is that battle of trying to find that one special person who will give us exclusive undivided attention so that we can bask in that recognition and feel that we are in fact special. It is the prize that snares us. And if we see this as a conquest to achieve a prize we will be sorely disappointed.


We have to practice gentle kindness towards others so as not to drive them away.  We have to accommodate their needs and when they do things that we feel completely overrides our needs we have to forgive them, again and again, because they did not notice, or we reacted out of old history.  The practice of daily forgiveness is the practice of “I love you”.


If we do not forgive others for what we perceive as their trampling us underfoot, then we start fermenting unrest and become ever more obnoxious. In fact we even start smelling obnoxious. And what is more we keep that rotting state in us to the point that when we suppress it the body starts rotting and we get ulcerative colitis etc.  In our obnoxious nature we withdraw from society, become recluse and outcasts, and at the same time we think we are so grand.

We are convinced other people do not like us but hide ourselves in the process.


We have to reconcile ourselves with our situation and not feel abused, misunderstood, and excluded.   We have to simply be here and try to understand others by listening to their stories and tell our stories of experience.  Listening to ourselves and how we tell our stories and then listening to how others tell our stories, makes us realize what others heard us say.  What parts could they hear? Why did they hear that part.  Did we really tell it in a story so they could hear it.  Can we listen to their story or are we just waiting for them to stop talking so that we can carry on with our story.



 17) Let go the idea of ownership of achievement.

Or as expressed in Ho'o pono pono: “Thank you.”

In the fourth chamber of the underworld we come to collect our gifts.  It is a place to receive what we can use to help others.

There are many people who do not know they have gifts and do not collect them.

Then there are again others who think that their gifts are the just reward for all their hard work and discipline. They think they own their gifts. This is a challenge to spirit. Whenever we attach our self worth to anything, then that thing will be taken away, so as to prove to us that we still exist even when that is removed from us.  Our history, wisdom, possessions, experiences, even our sense of freedom will be taken away if we attach the definition of who we are to it.

So finally when it gets down to the fundamentals of freedom we are prepared to admit: “I would rather die than loose my freedom”.    

If we can say “Thank you” for our gifts, then we are not owning them because we do not think of them as something that we deserved but that we received them as a gift.


This desire for ownership brings us right down into physicality and personality.  If the personality becomes so disenchanted with the guidance from its self to the point of doubting its self, then the asuras take it as an instruction from the personality to cut off its access to its higher self.  At that moment if feels as if we suddenly lost something precious and may not be aware that is ourselves. We become totally rudderless and confused.  We see it in the vacant eyes of people who look like zombies. We see it in people who go through terrible relationship struggles. We see it in people who would rather die.

It can be seen as a grey mist or veil over our shoulders.


In ancient times the development of our personality was started by the Archai with them looking us in the eye. Now at this age when the personality has developed so strongly that it feels it can go it alone, the fallen Archai or the so called angel of death or asuras will help us die.





    The Holy Grail